What my grandpa knew, my son doesn’t and I need; a heart made pure. Pure enough so that I may love God first as no other.
The problem with pursuing a “pure heart” is that such a pursuit inevitably distorts our focus. A “pure heart” is not an end worthy of us. It is a proximate end, not our real end. It is an essential in discovering our real end, but not if it becomes our real goal. The real goal is love; love for God and neighbor. That is the only purpose worthy of a creature made in love’s image. Now, that my son gets and my grandpa often forgot..
To make things worse, to the very degree i/we focus on our heart being pure we are, in the very pursuit, focused on ourselves. I remember one writer saying that we are each like astronauts makeing our 1st visit to the moon and upon gazing at the sheer beauty of planet earth we are lost inside the wonder of our technological achievement instead of the majesty and awe of creation.
If those contractions were not enough, one more tension remains. A pure heart, capable of a single unifying devotion to God and thus humanity is both a condition necessary to loving God first, as no other and our neighbors as ourself and the result of such love. When we are simply loving, "the self" matters not at all, for a desire deeper than purity has captured us—love itself. A pure heart both precedes and follows this very reason for our existence.
Perhaps the analogy of a professional sport can clarify. All a lover of baseball wants to do is "play baseball". Yet, in the process of getting there are hundreds of thousands of times at bat or throwing the perfect pitch. Long before a player relaxes into the pleasure of the game he has experienced agonizing failure, certainly a season when all he seems to be able to accomplish is striking out when at bat or walking thirty percent of his batters because the closing inside corner strike alludes him. In these moments the consummate batter or pitcher is self-absorbed, painfully aware of feeling exposed before what were once loyal fans.
And what is the way out of this stubbornly fixated lull? Sometimes it's more practice; understanding the science of what's off. Yet, sometimes it's just the opposite. Going back to re-discovering his childhood affection for the game when his friends didn't care how good or bad he was. It was the shared love of the game itself that mattered.
The essential truth remains, whether playing for a dollar contract or a bubble gum wrapper with the cartoon on the back side. Removing the stresses and ticks and mannerisms that keep the heart and soul from loving the play is critical and the love of the play is equally necessary if said talent is to remain human.
So, how can all these be true? How do we achieve the sweet spot?
A pure heart is essential to being entirely available to love.
A pure heart cannot be our goal because it focuses us on judgment, watching ourselves perform, 3rd person, rather than being released by and in love.
A pure heart is the result of loosing ourselves even as we are keenly aware of ourselves.
Only God can resolve these tensions. How? By realizing and placing our trust in this reality: “We love because God first loved us”
(1 John 4:19 CEB).
Blessings! Terry
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